Welcome to yet ANOTHER new Blog... The Clam Report!
Hope you are all enjoying the warmer weather (finally!) Let’s hope it stays this way.
So if you are on this page and if you have been following me for the past few years on here, first of all YOU ARE MY HERO!
Second, you have noticed since it’s a new year and another new album release both last month and on the horizon for this year, it’s time for a new website look and of course new blog page.
I always like for each album cycle to switch things up a bit and change the look and blog each album separately just to keep it fresh and oh boy…what a crazy ass year it’s been already both personally and musically! So, let’s get to it shall we? Strap in fools!
So if you managed to read the last few entries on the last blog, you’ve read and noticed that since the release of my last full length album of original material “Glamour & Filth” in September, although we stayed pretty dormant gig wise to support the album, by the time 2019 rolled in things FINALLY started to pick up steam on all fronts.
During the “Winter Downtime” I was invited to perform and be interviewed on the radio in January which was a lot of fun!
Then in February we were signed to a label 31 Records and they have been helping me in all aspects of my “music career” which is something I’ve been trying to get done for a long time now.
Then...Shawn and Gary finished mixing/mastering the live album from the release party and we put out “All The Clams…LIVE!” in March (hence the new blog name) and that has been doing well too!
We also had some gigs booked starting in March (best time to start back IMHO) So I was looking forward to getting back out there
and then March 10th a week before the live album was released I got this...
Don’t mind the disgusting nail 😝
Out of all of the nonsense, the problems and the struggles the past year has brought with deaths in the family, tornados, car crashes and now a fire in our house THIS still happened and besides my children being born, achieving this was my favorite thing.
There were SO many challenges that came my way the past 12 months that should have derailed my sobriety......easily, but it didn’t. If anything the power of prayer, God, meetings, family and dear friends showed me that I could face and handle ANYTHING that comes my way.
As I got to a year sober, all of a sudden little miracles started to happen for me personally. Things turned around so much I quit taking antidepressants. I just stopped and had little to zero withdrawal symptoms, I just felt like I didn’t need them anymore. If I was faced with these issues I mentioned above I just faced them as best I could and things just...worked itself out without having to “numb myself” like I used to.
Before I walk into work, I sit in my car and talk to God everyday. I stopped asking for things like he was a genie in a bottle. Now I just thank him for keeping me sober another day, to help me do the right thing, to watch over me and the people that I love and it works.
I don’t know what he/she/it is I don’t see a bearded dude in a robe and birkenstocks or a big fat bald dude or something out of Lord of The Rings I just feel “IT” and IT is what gets me through.
one friend in the program that has had decades of sobriety, his higher power is the oak tree in his backyard. “IT” can be whatever you want it to be as long as it works and anyone who doesn’t want to be a part of the fellowship because they are “not into the god shit” like I was? they are only making excuses.
I still have doubts and fears and all of that I struggle a lot internally sometimes, but it’s not as crippling as it used to be. I still have medicine I can take if I feel that overwhelming feeling come over me, but at least now I can actually FEEL again. On Zoloft as hard as I could, I couldn’t even squeak out a legitimate tear if I wanted to. Now I can cry and it actually feels good! Like a end of Bohemian Rhapsody movie cry not a my life sucks cry 😏
Once we got back to playing gigs this year it still wasn’t easy walking back into a bar and to be 100% honest the past two gigs back as fun as they both were for me, were still challenging as fuck in different ways and reasons, but each one back is making me stronger and more confident.
I might be living “the suite life” out of my home for a few months feeling displaced, but I’m slowly becoming whole again. I dyed my hair, bought a new guitar and I guarantee if you come see us back at The Chance on 4/27 you are going to get a show from me. No fear, no doubts, zero regrets and zero fucks to give