Salad bar

Greetings true believers!  

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

Rather than post one of my normal updates there's a topic I wanted to share that's been floating around in my brain the past few weeks.

Everything has been going well had to take a break from the DDP for almost a week due to the neck troubles I was having but actually the week off was good since it gave it a chance to fix itself and now I'm back on stronger than ever! I feel so much better when I do it although my body sounded like someone stepping on bubble wrap when I was doing the poses this week. 

Still kept to the calories and I'm feeling great, which brings me to my topic today. The salad bar. 

At work we have a lovely cafe which I eat at for lunch everyday and I pretty much stay to the salad bar since everything else there is like 1,000 calories a meal and loaded with unnecessary carbs. Maybe I'll go for the special if it looks tasty or an occasional grilled chicken spinach wrap with avocado and bacon if I'm feeling sassy. It can get monotonous sometimes but it's quick, easy and most important....healthy 👍

However I have noticed something over the years..

People have no salad bar etiquette what so ever. 

And this is a nice corporate building too not a Chuck E Cheese or a Ruby Tuedsays although I feel those might even be better. 

Therefore I thought I would post what I think are the proper unspoken rules for the salad bar that I've observed over the months that you might enjoy or as the (once) great Bill Cosby has said "and if you're not careful you may learn something before its done" 

1) grab a box and commit: I see these people all the time. They want to see what's there but instead of gazing at the selection from afar they need to stand right in front of the line and stare at the kale like its speaking to them. This blocks the people like myself who have a tray in hand and are ready to dive into the lettuce of choice to "make their bed". Either grab a box and join the cool kids or step aside. I hear it's build your own burger on the other station go bug him (trust me I've been there numerous times in the past, he's a good guy and makes a hell of a burger).

 

Dang Marvin...I miss you and your fried onion burgers..please don't take it personal  

Dang Marvin...I miss you and your fried onion burgers..please don't take it personal  

2) personal space: it should be a law posted at said bar of salad that the proper space between customers on line is at least an arms distance apart. I know you're anxious to get back to whatever the hell you do but snuggling next to me in order to get your mitts on those colorful beans is not going to make me move any faster. Trust me I get the same stuff every time and it's not those beans (people do love those friggin things though!) 

Look...my salad is trying to give me a shocker!  Maybe the beans are softer  

Look...my salad is trying to give me a shocker!  Maybe the beans are softer  

3) The greeting card gazers: I know there are a lot of delightful, delicious things to look at in a salad bar and lots of choices. However, in the 3+ years I've been going here it doesn't really change that much. They remind me of the old ladies in the Hallmark store staring close at the cards looking for that perfect one that speaks to them. Either that or they are looking at the onions hoping they will transform into a hot wing by using The Force (see part 1) Grab those tongs and dig in! you're blocking me and I'm the patient one. 

4) tong flingers: each bowl has an assigned tong to use for said item. We're all adults it's not hard to grab the item and put in your box. It's not a game of Operation you are not gonna get shocked if you touch the sides but maybe it does cause shit is thrown all over like poop in a monkey cage. Don't try to sneak one of those beans in the cheese bowl I won't allow it. It's not as magical as the one onion ring you get snuck in a Burger King French Fry box. Everytime I get one of those I feel like when Bilbo got the ring!  (Or Frodo I'm sorry I'm not a big LOTR guy) 

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5) Line Cutters: I know you realllllly only need a cup of dressing for your meal. The line is back there go wait with the rest of the savages. The greeting card gazer is almost done picking out the perfect egg piece.  

 

6) the proper reach: I'm sorry I'm not Reed Richards or Stretch Armstrong. Placing the shredded carrots a mile away makes me press my face against the sneeze guard (which is gross) and it makes me look like I'm reaching for the key on the wall while I'm behind bars (use your shoe Mike Brady! Anyone? Anyone?) 

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and lastly....if you work at the salad bar..learn how to spell 😜  

Can you tell me how to get...how to get to sesama streeeeet! 

Can you tell me how to get...how to get to sesama streeeeet! 

 

As much honey as you can muster!  

As much honey as you can muster!