To all the things I (used to) love before
Greetings True Believers!
This week, rather than just write about how the week has gone and bore you with the same ol same ol (don't worry things are still going great, kale is yummy, I haven't started Yoga yet though booooo) I thought on this relaxing "Love Day" at home it would be fun to write and list some of the the things that although I'm glad I'm not throwing into my mug anymore, I've been thinking lately "ahhhhh I remember how much I used to love that, damn that was some tasty stuff". It will also give you a little insight into some of the awful things I used to ingest on a semi-regular basis and some of you will probably say "damn, you ate that stuff? Sure, it's yummy but no wonder..."
In no particular order.....
Ahhhh sweet, sweet carbs. Although It does feel great not getting filled up by massive amounts of breads with my protien, I will admidt it is convienent. There have been so many times the past few weeks when I'm out and about, driving the kids around on the weekends to their activities or while I'm on the dredded 90 minute commute every day to work where I'm thinking "man, I'm hungry but everything easy is on a friggin bun". I'm down with eating things like beef, eggs, etc. but you can't necessarily drive around trying to consume with a fork. Things like a toasted buttered roll, a greasy sausage/egg/cheese and stuff like that were always something I found myself eating in the morning.
I still find myself looking down at the plate while I'm buttering mini pancakes, waffles and stuff like that in the morning for the girls that I want to mainline the plate.
Actually, I've never been a huge fan of pasta to be honest. Maybe it was from all of the college, struggling financial times of my life where I was constantly eating it because it was so cheap that I got bored of it, but kind of like the bread it's something that is constantly being offered with a meal.
I don't care if I was a gazillionaire though, I'd still buy and consume Ramen Noodles or Mac and Cheese (Annie's though...I'm not a complete savage!). One of my favorite, easy meals on a cold night was Ramens and to tack the carb factor even higher was I would crush up Cheese Its in the soup and it would melt up and add to the cheesy goodness.. Please try at your own risk.
Come on now, we are talking to an Irishman here how could I not enjoy the potato?! Taking on this new lifestyle change you really start to see how much these things get lumped in with your food. It's almost impossible to get a burger without fries on a bun, chicken without a mound of ziti/spagetti and of course, a nice juicy steak without a pile of mashed potatoes.
I could sit and eat a bowl of mashed potatoes (instant or otherwise) or a pile of french fries dipping them in my favorite thing...blue cheese dressing. Two fries together you know make an excellent vehicle to grab a chunk of ol blue.
Ohhh scarecrow, sometimes I miss this one the most of all. Now of course the whole "alcoholic" negitave aspect of it is a horrible thing for some (myself included) . However, there's nothing I would enjoy more than kicking back in front of the television, in a practice space, a gig or with a bunch of my friends and just pounding a few "cold ones". It was refreshing, loosened me up and gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling. When things were frustrating, stressful or if I just was having a rough time in my life it would calm me and give me that escape, even though for only a little while.
I've never been the type that loved a fancy, bitter, hipster, growler type of beer lover either. Fanciest I get is a Stella or Blue Moon (Stella being my recent favorite. Love a beer with a special glass). Give me a cheap ass beer and lots of it and I'm in heaven. Schaefer, Miller High Life, Tecate, PBR (before the dang Hipsters took it over) or Coors Light although I could never do a Bud. For some reason Bud always gave me the "pukey hangover" feeling the next day.
I even know from all of my "professional drinking days" exactly the perfrect amount for me. a 6 pack of Stella with one (maybe two if I'm feeling randy) king cans as "the closer" or a 12 pack of the cheap stuff was just enough to get me wrecked, but functional. I also learned It has to be the "perfect storm" If I was to drink. No driving, no kids cause once the first one goes down I can't be stopped.
Beleive it or not, I never had much of a sweet tooth. Cake, candy, chocolate all of that I really don't enjoy much at all. However, my one weakness was always Ice Cream especially Jen and Jerry's. Right before I started getting healthier this year, there was a point where I was knocking back a pint of this stuff pretty much every other day and it was always late at night. I would often find myself waiting till the kids went to bed (cause you know, fuck that I wasn't gonna share) going into the freezer and finishing a whole pint. Chubby Hubby (how ironic), Milk and Cookies, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Americone Dream and Late Night Snack were always my go-to's. My all time fave (but sometimes hard to find) was Coffee,Coffee, BuzzBuzzBuzz but warning: eating that at night can cause insomnia from the expresso chips in it.
And the one, odd one that has been in my life for as long as I can remember:
Yes kids, that spot you walk by in any 711 next to the Slurpees and Big Gulps that you are always like "who the fuck eats that shit?" Yep...that was me.
Sure you could always grab a bag of Doritos with a can of Queso dip (which I would do sometimes too), but for a measly $3 you can grab a tray with the bag of chips in it, break it open, spread them out nice and let the cheese machine squirt that molten hot goodness all over like a Bukakke party of yellow and it was delightful. It's something I have been consuming on and off again for literally decades and I even had a system for it:
1) take the chips out of the tray that are still in the bag.
2) Squirt cheese all over the bottom of the tray. That way you don't get to the bottom and get stuck with a bunch of plain chips with no goodness.
3) spread the chips in the tray nice and even.
4) Proceed to hold that cheese machine button till literally you can't see chips anymore. Of course make sure you are spinning the tray around so if you see a space of chips you can fill that sucker up so there are no empty holes.
5) Last but no least, make sure to squirt a line of two of that diarrhea looking chili on top for "color"
One thing I almost forogt: Make sure you hit the cheese button for a second in the beginning on that nasty napkin to make sure there is actual cheese in the machine before cracking open the bag. Nothing made me sadder than getting to step 2 or 4 and having the machine dribble out from an empty bag of cheese. I even got to point where if it did that, you can open up the machine and squeeze the massive bag in case it was not in the "proper position" to dispurse this golden goodness.
So, I hope you enjoyed my love letter to my former self. If you are reading this It would be fun to hear from you all..what are the things you know is bad for you, that might sound/look odd to others but you absolutely love to eat? I'm always facinated to hear stories of friends who dig stuff like eating cake frosting cans with a spoon or Oreos in a bowl of milk like cereal. I'll start with two:
A mayo and bacon sandwich. Kind of like a BLT with no LT
Bagel with cream cheese and bacon. No bacon? Put some Doritos or cheesy chips on there and crunch em up.